http://www.howstuffworks.com/kryptonite.htm

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Sam is our friend. Here are 10 things that you probably didn't know about our friend, Sam Mylbi:


- 'I am Sam', a movie about an adult with the mental capacity of a child, is really not about our friend Sam Mylbi.


- Our friend Sam Mylbi is into motocross and hockey, hobbies that have proven dangerous when one is not too careful. He is also into playing guitar and singing, hobbies that have also proven very dangerous with our friend's participation.


- As written out in the famous book by Dr. Seuss, our friend Sam Mylbi's first name, 'Sam', rhymes with 'ham', unlike his last name, 'Mylbi', which doesn't rhyme with 'ham'. Saying his entire name aloud, however, will indubitably make one sound like a ham.


- Our friend Sam Mylbi, has a brand of hotdog named after him. I wish I was joking about this.


- The Latin-derived form '-cide' (i.e. suicide, genocide, homicide, etc.) is used to imply killing. Sammylbicide is an awkward-sounding but lexically applicable word that can be used to imply the murder of our friend Sam Mylbi, an outright violation of the fifth commandment for Christians.


- The reason why we always see our friend Sam Mylbi smiling is that it only takes 13 muscles for him to smile and 50 to frown. Incidentally, seeing our friend Sam Mylbi smile results in a certain kind of expression that requires 72 muscles to tense up (depending on what one is doing).


- Our friend Sam Mylbi's complete given name is Samuel. Incidentally, 1 Sam and 2 Sam are abbreviations of books in the Old Testament, 1 Samuel and 2 Samuel respectively. Our friend doesn't use numbers to precede his name because God knows there is only one Sam Mylbi on His good earth.


- Various products that our friend Sam Mylbi has endorsed include toothpaste, hamburgers, antacids, vitamins, apparel, bags, cellular networks, and hotdogs. Various products that our friend hasn't endorsed include laxatives, fungal cream, lipstick, feminine wash and hemorrhoid ointment.


- Our friend Sam Mylbi uses only 10% of his brain regularly - unless when he's smiling, in which case he uses up to 99.8%. He really works hard for that perfect smile and it really taxes his central nervous system - the reason why we never see him moving at all when he's smiling.


- 'Slam my bi' is an anagram for our friend's name, 'Sam Mylbi'. Another would be 'as my limb', which doesn't make much sense, but was reportedly given as an answer by a polio victim when asked about the prospects of our friend's career.


- In an alternate universe populated by carnivorous animists with low morale, our friend Sam Mylbi is revered as a cast member of a TV show with 24-hour surveillance and has even recorded an album.

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To My Dear Parents,

I am bothered. Why have you never made efforts to set me up with your friends' daughters when I recently found out that a lot of them are my age and look really hot?

Your son,
Ronan

P.S.) Please leave a comment.

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