25. Clean Up My Room - This is, of course, easier said than done. I risk being buried under a pile of plastic and paper daily. There have been previous attempts to organize my stuff though, make no mistake, but those efforts only kept relocating the clutter I hoarded in the last decade to another part of the room (like playing with a four-dimensional Rubik's cube). It's a daunting venture, to say the least, but being a logical person, I plan to begin with the simplest and most logical solution: move out of my room, into the living room, and forget about the clutter.

26. Start a Cult - Not to be confused with #23 because this shall be exclusively a business venture. The first step shall be to register a business name, and 'Church of Metrology' shall suit my purposes. For this venture, I shall be the Presidential High Priest, and I shall have a court/board of five half Filipina-half foreigner Host/Singer/Model/Actress/VJ/Socialite/Philanthropists who shall serve as Priestesses for each of the following relevant dioceses: Culture, Fashion, Grooming, Food and Wine, and Interior Design. My gospel shall be of the theme that life is a continual series of sacred makeovers that shall ultimately lead believers to actualization. I shall enlist a majority of artistas to be among my beloved flock, of course, to save on marketing expenses. These artistas shall serve as prophets, and they shall all be aptly instructed to know psychiatry.

27. Shave Along the Grain - And not against. I'm guilty of doing the latter, I admit. Shaving along the grain can actually make stubble less prickly, and can help reduce unwanted instances of ingrown hair, only that it seems to take more time to do that than to shave against the grain. It's somehow easier to shave off my facial hair in consistent upward strokes than downward, and I blame my follicles for that since they grow hair toward that overrated force of nature known as gravity. If my attempts at proper shaving do not succeed, I'll just have to convince my follicles to grow hair upward by sleeping with a light source on my headboard (it works for grass).

28. Take More Lactobacillic Substances - My aunt lovingly produces lactobacillic culture in her kitchen using fresh milk and a certain type of Tibetan fungus (seriously). The resulting substance, in both cream and liquid (whey) forms, supposedly has therapeutic effects on humans who are willing to ingest (or apply) the curious smelling emulsion. The curious smell is, sadly, nothing one should be curious about because it isn't too different from sour milk that has congealed under someone's toenails. The enzymes, however, supposedly aid in digestion and promote healthy cellular growth. People that my family know have actually been reacting positively to the lacto-fungal concoction, including cancer patients. There are even reports that it can resurrect inactive hair follicles(!). As someone merely concerned for the welfare of males affected by male pattern baldness, I will employ scientific methods by volunteering my perfectly healthy follicles to prove or refute the claims.

29. Visit My Dentist - The last time I visited my dentist was June of 2003, and before that, March 2002. Two of my molar fillings have already caved in and I fear the worst. The truth is that I am a sensitive person that if I were a member of a boyband, I would be the one singing in castrated falsetto. My dental nerve endings are hopelessly located too close to my teeth roots that every time my teeth are prodded with sharp metal implements I feel the urge to pee in my pants. My dentist, however, is a gracious and motherly professional who thankfully always knows when to apply gracious and motherly anaesthesia. She's a saint, only with a high-pitched drill.

30. Stop Procrastinating - Maybe next year.

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