19. Take Valerian Root - Valerian root is a natural sleep enhancing supplement. It has no addictive or habit-forming effects, unlike tranquilizers, because it doesn't induce sleep so much as enable your system to produce more sleep hormones. It's usually taken in capsule form. I find it effective, and I see no reason to doubt its effectiveness by its smell alone because it stinks like a mountain goat's rectum. I don't exactly know how a mountain goat's rectum is supposed to smell like, especially not through personal experience, but if I were to actually sniff a mountain goat's rectum, I would expect it to smell like valerian root. On a related note, there isn't evidence showing that smelling a mountain goat's rectum can actually enhance sleep, but anybody is welcome to try in the interest of science.

20. Write a Song - I can't write a song if my life depended on it. I can try though, but I can only really play the bass (not exactly the most melodic of instruments). I have picked up the standard six-string late last year in hopes of learning it. With a bit of basic chord theory, I can properly string together simple chordal arrangements but I still can't create melodies (let alone lyrics). Still, I am determined to write something within the year, never mind if I expect it to suck worse than a breast pump. I'll write a song and it will be in a language you will understand.

21. Get Bitten by a Radioactive Animal - This will be a bit difficult. Step one will require for me to actually find an animal that can bite. It's really only a choice between mosquitoes and stray dogs, since I only have ready access to those two animals. Step two will involve procuring radioactive elements, for which I expect to be breaking a few local and international laws. Assuming that I do find an isotope, I risk a slow and painful death via radiation poisoning or worse - sterility. Thirdly, I have to make the animal radioactive, which I assume only requires exposing the mosquito or dog to the isotope until it starts turning greenish. Lastly, I'll have to slather maple syrup on the body part to be bitten, which is the easiest step of all, since I do regularly slather maple syrup on my body anyway as a hobby. Next step: pick a superhero name.

22. Honor My Dead - My three grandparents are pretty much neighbors, and the cemetery, on a good day, is only fifteen minutes away. It should be the easiest thing in the world to do, given the logistical conveniences. I will schedule regular visits within the year just so I can avoid the mad rush come November. I wouldn't want to end up in the afterlife and be met with a guilt trip.

23. Find Religion - Despite claims to such, I do not worship the devil. Really. In truth, I have been culturally exposed to a variety of religions although I like to think that I'm predominantly Catholic (I'm probably a non-practicing atheist, come to think of it). I get inspired by rock stars and the like who live lives of excess only to discover religion in the end, and as a result, find peace and 'real' happiness. That's how I would like to discover religion, I think. Step 1: sex. Step 2: drugs. Step 3: rock n' roll. Step 4: God.

24. Learn to Write with My Right Hand - In this way, I can assume right-handedness in a public place and, while writing the first few letters with my right hand, conveniently decide to stop mid-sentence and announce to everyone within earshot that I will start writing with my left hand instead because my right hand already feels tired from figuring out a solution to world hunger and/or an advanced particle physics problem the whole day. "Are you ambidextrous?" "Why? Aren't you?" Ambidexterity: it makes even the hopelessly drunk and clueless regular Einsteins.

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