Although the only clues I get are the mall decorations, Christmas is indeed fast approaching. One good thing about having flexible work hours is that I get more time for Christmas shopping. The not-so-good thing, however, is that I still have bills to pay, and if you were actually expecting something from me on the 25th, then you have my permission to break off our friendship before then. Please be reminded that Christmas isn't all about giving each other gifts but about paying each other's bills. That's what the fat guy in red wanted, really.

Since I had very little to go on in terms of a budget, I decided to do my Christmas snooping not in fancy stores with unpronounceable names but in the supermarket nearest my house (I visit the place with my mom every two weeks or so anyway). Here are some of the stuff I found interesting:



Gummy Mega Foot - I seriously think that candymakers are a very troubled bunch. With endless possibilities where virtually anything can be represented in gummy form, we get a foot. Luckily, the Gummy Mega Foot is really just shaped like a two-dimensional footprint, sparing us the gritty anatomical details of an actual foot. It's still unsettling though, that the footprint is roughly life sized (female size 6-7, I'm guessing). You can taste natural and artificial fruity flavors while practicing your toe-sucking skills. It's tempting to deduce that candy manufacturers are actually teaching little children to develop fetishes and sexual deviancy, but that's simply unbelievable (cue next entry).


Gummy Handcuffs - Taste natural and artificial fruity flavors while honing your S&M skills. Whatever happened to the old practice of not playing with one's food? The nice thing about gummy handcuffs is that you can actually stretch the cuffs to wear around your wrists. It begs the question though: why would you want to do that? The manufacturers are probably working under the assumption that kids these days have somehow already developed basic sexual deviancy by licking enough Gummy Mega Feet and that an aptitude for S&M would come in handy next to their foot fetishes. I'm probably reading more to this, of course. Maybe the candymakers simply wanted to market a gummy policeman dress-up kit, except that guns are now considered unfit for children and batons can appear somewhat phallic in gummy form, leaving them only with the Gummy Handcuffs in the end.


Bulawin Action Figures - M is one letter away from B on the normal keyboard, but be assured that I didn't type the product name incorrectly. These are authentic Bulawin action figures, and like most of the world's little plastic men, these are made in China. There are five figures pictured on the card back, and believe it or not, these figures even have one variant each (for those untrained in the language of geek, variants are generally the versions that you can't ask your mom to get you). I got Phoenix and Andromeda (labeled Anoromeoa on the blister). I also found a Phoenix 'black cloth version,' but I decided to just get the regular version because I honestly don't think that the 'black cloth version' is going to be more valuable in the future. The package has a sticker that says 'TRY ME LIGHT UP' and a tab is cut into the cardback so you can actually stick your finger in and press a button to presumably light the character up (I did that and got nothing). The card art also has the following phrases written: 'SUPER COLLECTION All 10 Types!' 'NEW ARRIVAL' and 'Collect them all.' I didn't know if the Bulawin brand was knock-off of the more popular Mulawin GMA property so I googled it, finding nothing that implies the anime-ish characters on the card. I instead found out that Bulawin is, weirdly enough, a not so uncommon Filipino name. One of the very first results even led to Richard Merk's homepage (i.e. Richard Bulawin Merk, the Philippines' Prince of Jazz). The figures have a couple of accessories, mainly snap-on armor pieces. It's nothing that would excite children much, and I think they could have done a better job if they engineered these toys so that they can be put together to form a 12" Richard Merk. I know I'd buy that in a second.

(UPDATE: I have confimed that these figures are knock-offs of Saint Seiya, an anime series popular in Europe.)

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -