In my mind, it would start out with a proper introduction, after which I would say something witty to make her laugh. It went something like that too, with my friend Doiks taking care of the proper introduction and adding that I was dying for the longest time to meet her. That's not true, you see, as I was merely partially dying (which is partially living too, but that's beside the point). My witty retort came out like something between an incoherent grunt and an incoherent mumble. Luckily, she didn't laugh after. It was her fault anyhow... she almost touched my nipple, that's why. It was still a delight though - meeting her, that is, not the nipple part. I wish I just told her that instead, plain and simple. All the same, she was still very friendly and very gracious (and very sincere too, it must be said)... she even shook my hand (which, after much deliberation, will get washed). I would have angled for a photo-op (you know, bragging rights for the socially inept) except I left my camera in the car.

I decided on the way home that to avoid having to repeat that embarrasing incident, I should have a ready spiel for the next time I get introduced to another celebrity. I rehearsed it many times while I was alone in the car so I can faithfully reprint the entire thing here: "Hello. I promised myself I would say something witty if I finally did get this chance. As you can see, it's not happening. It really is a delight to meet you though. Please don't touch my nipple or the area surrounding it."

In my mind, that will work, and I hope I get to test it out soon.

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